![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() i have been forgotten by death and left to wander after the end of timeĮvery woman i know: posting tweets about every woman they know and every man they know that simplify the complexities of human relationships and flatten the world into binary gender categoriesĮvery man i know: jk i don’t know any men and i refuse to meet oneĮvery woman I know: works 3 jobs, volunteers, cooks healthy and delicious meals, has all kinds of matching towels and bedsheets, reads booksĮvery guy I know: flies buzzing around their mouth and eyes as their dismembered corpse molders in a bathtubĮvery woman i know: 20 blunts a day, 2 hour long skincare routine, has done extensive research on every serial killer, 5 boyfriends, perfect eyebrowsĮvery man i know: accidentally misspelled something in the group chat and will never live it downĮvery woman i know: birth control, ho chi minh, richard nixon back again, moonshot, woodstock, watergate, punk rock, begin, reagan, palestine, terror on the airline, ayatollah in iran, russians in afghanistanĮvery woman i know: a mass of writhing tentacles with inhuman like features indescribable with words, its emotions and motivations incomprehensible to the human mind, a fountain of unknowable knowledgeĮvery man i know: a mass of writhing tentacles with inhuman like features in Of course, it didn’t take long for people to put their own sardonic and hilarious twist on the meme.Įvery woman I know: does yoga, flawless skin, multiple PhDs, churns her own butter, flies covert missions to airdrop chocolate and vaccines to orphans in the SudanĮvery man I know: is three dogs in a trench coatĮvery man i know: also terrifying i have anxiety i’m having unreasonably emotional reactions to my television storiesĮvery man i know: were i witness to a crime, i would simply intervene and overpower the perpetratorġ0. zoology, and at least one hard scienceĮvery man I know: Dead from an accident trying to open his refrigerator to get at a Bud Light Lime he won in a revenge-porn website contestĮvery woman i know: i’m having 20 periods out of many miraculous holes. How To Be Alone (by me Lane Moore) is out now May 2, 2019Įvery woman i know: basis for a successful series of children’s books, meticulous planner with brilliant attention to detail, treasure hunt mastermind, currently camping in the ozarksĮvery man i know: /ZDVk6eZLx7Įvery woman i know: is “gallant” from highlights for children magazineĮvery man i know: is “goofus” from highlights for children magazineĮvery man I know: Olmec Baby /UcH6mIIen1Įvery woman I know: spends $100s on makeup, trying to get short stories about her ex published in the new yorkerĮvery guy I know: only listens to playboi carti, gets too high at parties and says “aight bro I’m bout to head out,” trying to be a fortnite streamerĮvery woman I know: PhDs in literary theory, sociology. 1.Įvery woman I know: works out, meditates, starting a business, in therapy, 12 step skincare routine, mastered contouring and winged eyeliner, reading self-help books.Įvery guy I know: used to use a 3-in-1 shampoo/conditioner/body wash, but uses separate body wash now. Men use 3-in-1 shampoo/conditioner/body wash. The takeaway? Women work really really hard. THEIR BOYFRIENDS: once almost made a dinner reservation but turns out the place was closedįrom there, the joke format quickly took off as hundreds of men and women began tweeting about “every woman I know” followed by “ every man I know,” and adding in their own dunks. ![]() A new meme, referred to mostly as “Every Woman I Know,” seeks to demonstrate that women-due largely to society’s expectations and standards-are far superior to men.Īnd before the Not-All-Men/This-Is-Misandry crowd comes swarming from their unprovoked depths: It’s JUST A JOKE! (Mostly.) Writer Dana Schwartz seems to have kicked the meme off by tweeting about how “every woman” in her life finds time for multiple jobs, physical and mental self-care, and remembering loved ones’ birthdays, whereas their boyfriends “once almost made a dinner reservation but turns out the place was closed.”ĮVERY WOMAN IN MY LIFE: juggling 3 jobs, does yoga, cooks, goes to therapy, remembers everyone’s birthday Have you been wondering why your Twitter feed is flooded with people pointing out the vast differences between men and women? ![]()
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